10 Most Hilarious Ways to Get a DUI

resource: Super Tight Stuff

Everyone knows that drinking and driving isn’t safe, and that there are laws in place to prevent the operation of vehicles while under the influence of alcohol. For example, in the United States there is a national law that a blood alcohol content over 0.080 is considered ‘drunk driving.’ However, what you may not know is how widely those laws can apply — and how dumb people can end up with hilarious DUI arrests. Without further ado, I present the 10 funniest DUI cases — and STS’s new game “Did You Know You Can Get a DUI On A…?”

1. Riding Lawnmower

On the list of “Dumb Ways You Can Get a DUI” the riding lawnmower is a very popular choice. And, for reasons we can’t fathom, especially popular in Tennessee. Go figure. This April, in Blountville Tennessee, Martin Junior McMurray took police on a low-speed pursuit for a half mile on his lawnmower, swerving between lanes and ignoring their police sirens. He failed a field sobriety test, blew a 0.15, and had an unopened can of beer in his pocket. A hero.

Now, this seems almost too impossible to believe, but it appears the very same week Athens, Tennessee police arrested Jimmy Graham Junior (why are they all ‘juniors?’) for intoxication on his riding lawnmower. He was also charged with stealing fishing poles out of his neighbors garage. Video of his sobriety test below:

2. Motorized Wheelchair

Everyone knows the Aussies like to drink, but hows this for a story. In 2008 a man was found asleep in his motorized wheelchair on a highway in Northern Australia, very very drunk. Like blowing a 0.301 kind of drunk. It was also 10 A.M, and he was 64 years old. He claimed he was driving the “nine mile trip” to his friends house.

3. Zamboni

Maine is big into hockey, so it makes sense that they would have ice rinks everywhere. Which means it makes perfect sense when a man from Portland, Maine was arrested right around Christmas time in 2008 for “trying to drive an ice smoothing machine inside a Portland, Maine civic center.” Adam Patterson, a 22 year old, had crashed the Zamboni “into a wall near a storage area.” He was pretty drunk, and my favorite part of the story — “Authorities say he had also tried to operate two forklifts.” Champion. 

4. Motorized Barstool

6′1″, 230-pound Kile Wygle, a 26 year old from Ohio, welded a barstool to a 5 horsepower lawnmower engine and built himself every drunkards perfect form of transport. Well, until he crashed it at around 20 mph and had to be taken to the hopsital for minor injuries. This happened in March of 2009, and he entered a plea of not guilty for his DUI charges. That doesn’t make a lot of sense, because when the police asked him how much he had had to drink, he responded “a lot.” Later clarified to “around 15 beers.” He also said that his motorized barstool can hit a top speed of 38 mph, which is pretty speedy, so he must be smart. 

5. 3-Wheeled ATV

This one hails from Kentucky. Just curious, anyone noticing a bit of a trend developing here? Anyway, 18 year old Justin Dale Peters drank “about three beers” and took a 3-wheeled ATV for a drive. He attempted to evade the police, before stopping in a driveway with his hands held in the air. He blew a 0.09 on the breathalyzer, which is disappointingly low. .  

6. Motorized Lay-Z-Boy

In August 2008 a 62 year old Minnesota man drank “eight or nine beers” and drove his motorized Lay-Z-Boy reclining chair into a parked car. Well, more specifically he left a bar while driving his chair (did he drive it to the bar as well?), and then hit the parked car. The chair was powered by a lawnmower engine (another trend we got going) and was outfitted with a stereo, cupholders, and a magazine rack. He pleaded guilty to drunk driving. But, the story doesn’t end there — the chair has been auctioned off to support the Proctor Police Department. For $3,700. Now that’s just ridiculous. 

7. Horse

A Colorado man received a class-B traffic violation in 2009 for drunkenly riding his horse, named Cricket, to a strip mall in Arvada. He said he was out for a “joyride” and was given a $25 ticket. Apparently, this wasn’t the first time he has done this. Even funnier, an Alabaman woman took her horse for a midnight jaunt through town in 2009, and was arrested for being intoxicated and carrying drug paraphernalia. Like, crystal meth and “pills”. 40 year old Melissa Byrum York apparently used the horse to “ram a police car.” I’m really not sure how that works. 

8. Barbie Power Wheels

Our second entry from overseas, and also from a part of the former British Empire. This is Paul Hutton, 40, from Essex. And he drove a home-built electric vehicle designed for 3-5 year olds, with a top speed of 4 mph, at twice the legal limit. He was initially given a 3-year driving ban, because he had received another drunk-driving offense in the last 10 years. Because the vehicle is “easy capable of being outrun by a pedestrian” his sentence has been reduced. The best part? Its a pink Barbie car. The police confiscated the vehicle, but Mr. Hutton hopes to get it back. I mean, who wouldn’t? 

9. Tricycle

A 58 year old from Oregon was arrested in August 2008 for riding an “adult-sized tricycle” while he was hammered. Do they even make those? Like, is that even a thing? Adult-sized? Anyway, he was booked for drunk driving on a public road. At 2 PM. He rode through a stop sign and down the wrong side of the road, where he was pulled over and failed a field sobriety test.

10. Cruizin’ Cooler

Ah, its time. For the single greatest man-invention ever. The Cruizin Cooler, a motorized cooler scooter that can cruise at about 15 mph. You sit on it, ride down to buy yourself a 6 (or 30) pack, and the beer stays chilled on your ride home. Advertised as the “fastest cooler on the planet” it can even come with a trailer (or many trailers). Genius! Well, it came out in 2006 and took almost 2 years for someone to get a DUI on one. 57 year old Leslie J. “Bomber” Marr, from Whitehall NY is the one. He faces felony DUI charges (Felony!) and charges for aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle. The cooler contained 14 beers, and Mr. “Bomber” Marr was swerving and riding on the sidewalk. According to police he’s been “riding around town on that cooler for years.” And that is awesome!

6 DUI Myths — The Truth About DUI

 Resource:  thaipparambil.com

FACT VS. FICTION—THE TRUTH ABOUT DUI

Driving Under the Influence (DUI) is one of the most common criminal infractions reported, but it is also one of the most misunderstood. Among the public, and even among many attorneys, the truth about DUI is riddled with myth. The unfortunate result is that many of those who are accused of driving under the influence do not know their rights. And because they do not know their rights, they do not obtain adequate legal representation and they receive unfair and unjust penalties, regardless of whether they are guilty or innocent. Before we look at each phase of the DUI process in detail, let us begin by setting the record straight on some common and damaging misconceptions.

Myth #1: “Most people accused of DUI are guilty.”

This is what we call The DUI Guilt Myth. Many people unconsciously assume that, if a person is arrested, “they must have done something wrong.” This assumption is especially widespread when it comes to DUI. Though it is understandable why someone might feel this way, this is not the way the law works. It is not the way the law should work. Being accused of a DUI is not a conviction. No matter what your situation is, if you have been accused of driving under the influence, you have every right to the fairness, justice and protection that the American legal system guarantees.

Myth #2: “These cases can’t be won.”

Because they hold this mistaken belief, and because they do not know their rights, many people end up pleading guilty to a DUI charge when they should have fought the flimsy evidence against them.

Myth #3: “DUI cases are just like any other criminal case.”

This couldn’t be further from the truth. DUI law is markedly different from many other areas of law. Some even say that there is a DUI exception to the Constitution. Most of the time, a police officer must have “probable cause” before pulling you over. In layman’s terms, the probable cause requirement means that an officer must have some concrete reason to believe that a person is breaking the law. While this is always true if a single officer pulls you over on the road, consider the fact that, with sobriety checkpoints, a police officer needs nothing more than for you to drive through it.

Myth #4: “A DUI is a minor offense.”

DUI laws get tougher every year. Politicians know that they can gain points among their constituents by increasing the penalties and prosecutions of DUI. Over the years, a DUI charge has become more and more serious in most States. This is yet another reason why it is so crucial that individuals understand the process and the rights they are guaranteed.

Myth #5: “Once you have seen one DUI, you have seen them all.”

Every DUI case is different. One of the worst mistakes you can make —and a tragically common one— is to assume that your case is just like any other. It is not. While prosecutors must stick to a set mold to prove their case, a good defense lawyer will know how to break the mold in your favor.

Myth #6: “Any attorney can represent a person accused of DUI.”

This is like saying that it is fine to see podiatrist for high blood pressure. Like medicine, law is an area where it is impossible to know and do everything. There is no way for one person to have all the necessary knowledge and experience. You might know a lawyer who you are sure is competent, decent and trustworthy—all of which are important traits to look for in an attorney—but these qualities cannot substitute for experience in the area of DUI law.